UPDATE: Our cell phones are now working. I hope everyone else has cell phone service, too! ❤❤
It’s hard to believe I wrote my first post about the coronavirus pandemic less than three months ago. So much has happened since then: horrific murders caught on video and broadcast all over the news, followed by peaceful protests rightfully demanding justice, followed by rioting, arson, increasing violence, and calls to defund ALL of the police.
Meanwhile, as the counts of positive covid-19 cases continue to rise, with the economy tanking and unemployment skyrocketing, many states here in the U.S. are trying to go back to business as usual. Which brings up a whole new set of issues: Stay home, or go out? Wear a mask, or don’t wear a mask? Keep social distancing, or not?
Then you have the folks who shame other people for wearing a mask and practicing social distancing, as if doing these things is an indication that you don’t have enough faith. I want to ask them: Do you wear a seat belt in your car? Do you lock the doors of your house at night, and when you go out? Yes? Well, where’s YOUR faith?
For the past several weeks I have been trying to write a post to address these various issues, but for some reason the words just would not come. I can’t exactly call this a writer’s block, because I am still writing in my memoir every single day. But my memoir is a story about how I survived and healed from horrific events that happened in my life a long time ago. I can write about those things, because they are over and done and YAAY!! I Survived!! But the things that are happening now — I feel like it’s taking all of my energy, just trying to figure out how to stay safe and sane through this very strange time. I can’t write about it the way I want to, because I’m still living it.
On top of everything else, I have jury duty. The New Mexico supreme court put a hold on jury trials for a period of about two months, for which I am grateful. But that hold has expired and a new trial is scheduled for July 1. Everyone will be required to wear a mask in the courtroom, although the judge may remove his mask to speak from the bench, if he chooses to do so. I very much enjoyed the camaraderie of my fellow jurors during the trial we were on back in March, and after all this time at home, I’m looking forward to seeing my fellow jurors again. But I am also… just a little bit… apprehensive.
Which may be another reason why my blog writing has come to a standstill. For someone like me, diagnosed with developmental, complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, the insanity of everything that’s happening in the world today feels very familiar. Too familiar! This actually feels a lot like the childhood I grew up in, over half a century ago. The unpredictable nature of every day life. The hypervigilance needed to keep yourself safe. The constant threat of harm, of random violence, and even the threat of imminent death. Truly, I grew up like this!
Despite all the insanity in the world, I am staying *mostly* peaceful and calm, by counting my blessings every day. When I stop and think about it, I really do have a lot to be thankful for! I am especially grateful that my granddaughter and her husband have fully recovered, after testing positive for covid-19 in April. I am grateful that my other children and grandchildren are still healthy, my husband is healthy, I am healthy, our friends are all still healthy, and our two sweet rescue dogs are healthy too, and always at our sides. I am grateful we have a roof over our heads, grateful we have air conditioning in this brutal New Mexico heat, grateful we have food (including dog food!), and I’m grateful we haven’t run out of toilet paper, soap, or hand sanitizer, even without having the foresight to hoard any of those things. 😀
I am also grateful that we live just a few feet away from a Sheriff who is definitely one of the Good Guys — protective, conscientious, and a good neighbor. I saw him in his yard when I was working in our yard a couple of days ago, and he appeared to be doing well, too, although he looked a little sunburned.
Most of all, I am grateful for my faith in the Lord Jesus, that keeps me going through thick and thin. During my agnostic atheist years, I was one miserable, hurting MESS! But now — well, I will let you read what I wrote back in March, because this explains how my combat veteran husband and I have been getting through these unsettling days, despite the fact that we BOTH have PTSD. Here is my March 21 post, in case you missed it: Anxiety, PTSD, and the Novel Covid-19 Coronavirus Pandemic.
Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love for you to leave a comment below about how you’re getting through this very strange time. While I was writing this post, I discovered that we are having a nationwide cell phone outage. Several of the major carriers are affected, including the one we use. Our cell phones have been a lifeline during this time of social distancing. We got rid of our landline phone years ago. What will we do if our cell phone service doesn’t come back? Whew! Dare I wonder — what’s next?
Here’s a safe social distancing grandma ((HUG)) if you want one. God bless. ❤❤❤
About the pictures: I took the above photo of our old Red Heeler Cattle Dog, Lady, about ten years ago. I miss that good old girl. I took the picture at the top of this post on December 8, 2019, when life was still normal. It’s a view of the sunrise from our back porch. I have never in my life seen a sunrise like that! I wondered at the time if it was a portent of stormy weather, like the old adage that says ‘Red sky at morning, Sailors take warning.’ We didn’t have any storms on that day, but now — we’ve got a whole new kind of storm going on. Even so, like the old hymn says, It is well with my soul. I pray that it is well with your soul, too.
Copyright 2020 by Linda Lee Adams @LadyQuixote. All rights reserved.
A Blog About Healing From PTSD 
Through it all (whatever it is), we can all find some lights. Your words make that very clear. Thanks for the encouragement.
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Thank you! How is your amazing granddaughter doing?
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She’s doing fine. Thanks for asking.
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I’ve really been taking life one hour at a time lately.
I’ve been wondering “what’s next?” too.
((HUG))
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Lydia! I appreciate you so much. One hour at a time sounds about right. ❤❤❤
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🙏🏻❤️
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Hi Beth! I got a text from you late last night. I didn’t text back, because I figured you had probably sent it hours earlier when our phones weren’t working, and I didn’t want to risk waking you up. 🙂 ❤❤❤
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🙏🏻❤️
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I’ve asked the Lord so many times, “Has this whole freakin’ world gone crazy?” It sure feels like it. For me, I’m going and doing as I usually do and trying not to blow a fuse over the senseless rioting, destruction, etc. I’ve had to turn the T.V. off, limit what I read on FB and lean on the Lord to keep my sanity. If others want to wear masks, etc. that’s fine with me. You do what you feel comfortable doing. I’m glad you’re still writing your memoirs. My new book has gone to production so I’ll be getting my copies in a few weeks. Yay. Blessings to you Linda, enjoy that jury time and stay cool. 🙂 It’s been hot here, too.
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Yahoo, that’s exciting news about your new book!!! 😀
Hot in North Carolina can be even worse than hot in New Mexico, because you also get a lot of humidity and we don’t. I love your state, though, I used to take my kids to the outer banks all the time, when we lived in Virginia. I hope you haven’t been having days in the hundreds, like we have. Still, our humidity is typically around 10%, rarely above 30%, so it’s bearable. 😀
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Ahhh, I don’t know about N.C. I live in Ga. lol And yes, the humidity is high here, too.
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So sorry, I don’t know how I confused Georgia with North Carolina! I have been to Georgia too, lovely state.
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Hi Linda Lee, I also sense what you have a hard time putting into words, that’s happening to a lot of us lately, so you’re not alone. The un-logical thinking seems be quite plentiful as of late and it gets me scratching my head too. Just keeping it simple with our walk with Jesus is the way to go, there’s only so many things that we can do right now and our union with Jesus is number one. Keep that in good order and everything else will fall into place. Know that God loves you and hears every word you send His way. May God’s grace, peace and blessings pour over you and yours. – Bruce
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Thank you, brother Bruce. Your blog has been a lifeline to me during this crazy time. I read your excellent writings and wonder “How does he do it?” But of course , I know how. Your strength clearly comes from the Lord.
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It can be very hard to have faith in humans right now! My husband stands out because he’s the only one wearing a mask, people just stand around, backing up close behind you in line it’s very inerving. The unrest in the world has me more stressed out than I can recall in a very long time. I can’t condone violence for any reason and it only seems to escalate and the police are losing control in some areas like Portland. It’s scary. The police are in a no win situation up there and in many places. I see many innocent people and police getting hurt because of those who want to create trouble. 🙂 Great name for the book.
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Hi, Melinda. It’s great that your husband is wearing a mask! My husband does, too. I think he does it more to protect me than himself. Yaay for protective husbands! 😀
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Everything does seem so head spinning and crazy now, doesn’t it Linda? And I’ve been having the same issue too with not being able to wrap my head around things coherently enough to write about it.
I’m so glad your granddaughter and husband turned out ok. God is good, I know this to be true.
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Thank you, Tricia. Our God is good indeed! 🙂
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Tricia, I got interrupted while I was replying to your comment, by my toaster popping up. Yummy, gluten free toast! But I wanted to add that I am sorry you’re having trouble writing, too. It seems like our brains have just a certain amount of RAM, and when it gets overloaded, we can’t do anything else. So we have to prioritize, right?
My priorities right now are to stay safe and stay sane — and finish writing my memoir.
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An interruption for gluten free toast is totally understandable! 😂 And I think you’re in to something with the RAM overload there.
Keep staying safe and sane Linda and have a great day!
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It does seem like everything has gone off the rails doesn’t it? The old evil one is working overtime, and enjoying every minute of it. Of course from the looks of things he has lots of willing participants. I wear a mask, and have since this all started not that I think it will keep me safe BUT they say you can have this virus and show no symptoms. What if I have it and gave it to someone else and they died? Or they got really sick, and passed it to others and they die? I don’t want to be a participant in that. I am pretty sure the mask is to help us from spreading it anyway. Only reason I say this is because if you have ever had to go to the doctors office during flu season, they always have a sign up saying if you are sick, or feeling sick please put on one of the mask they have sitting in a box right under the sign! If masks protected us from GETTING it then during flu season the signs would say, hey its flu season, you’re at a doctors office, people are sick so put on a mask if you don’t want to get the flu 🙂 So, I will wear the mask, not for my protection but to do my part in protecting others. I don’t like it especially since I live in an anxiety attack most of the time, and something confining only makes it worse but my comfort comes second to others safety. Going out, on the other hand is another thing. People are so on edge. Understandably so. Being confined for long periods will make anyone anxious when allowed to venture out again. Then add the virus. Then add all this civil unrest(IDK what else to call it) it is making for tensions all around. It was a blessing that all of your family is doing well, and the ones that were going through medical issues have recovered. I think about you, and them every time I go through my prayer list to thank the LORD for their healing.
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That really blesses me, Margaret, that you think of me and my loved ones when you go through your prayer list, and thank the Lord for their recovery! This old grandma has been doing a lot of happy dancing around the house, ever since they were healed.
What you said about wearing a mask: my understanding, as a former nurse, is that the protection actually goes both ways. But either way, it’s a good thing to do. Last year, I was the sickest that I have ever been in my life, and that’s saying something, because I have experienced a lot of sickness, especially as a child. I got sick before covid-19 was in the news, so it probably wasn’t that. But when I read about the way people feel with covid-19, I have to say, that’s exactly how I felt. Anyway, I sure don’t want to go through that again, or have anyone else go through it. So I am all for wearing masks!!
When I was that sick, I thought it was very likely that I was dying. But I had such perfect, amazing peace! The peace kept me going through it all. Praise God!!!!
If you don’t mind, would you please add the Navajo Nation to your prayer list, and especially my Navajo friends, Judy and Gene. The Navajo Nation in the Four Corners region of New Mexico has been hit the hardest, per capita, of anywhere in the USA, even harder than New York. Thank you so much for your prayers for my granddaughter and her husband. I am also praying for the Lord to bless and protect you and your family. ❤❤❤
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Of course I will. 🙂
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Thank you! ❤
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“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
This came to mind while reading.
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Beautiful and True! Thank you.
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I can relate to this whole post, your words and description of how it all feels is exactly what I am a lot feeling. Today we got up early to get some fruits and veggies. We stay in for two weeks then we go out to get fresh food supplies. Summer is not a time for canned goods and hot soups.
My 85 year old mother-in-law said she had an upset stomach and needed to go to the emergency room this weekend. My brother-in-law who is her oldest son called her doctor and the doctor told her to avoid the hospital unless you have covaid symptoms, which she did not have symptoms of. Instead she will see her doctor tomorrow.
My husband thinks she took a bunch of anxiety pills she had because she called the day before asking what the pills did because she forgot. We all think she took some to sleep and also drank some wine with it…who knows but I do hope she is okay.
The cases are bad here in Arizona and they are telling people to avoid the hospitals now if they can. ICU is filling up. My mother-in-law is also a NPD type and she has done drama situation all her life when she doesn’t get something, is mad at one of her sons, or just needs attention, but then we all get to a point where we may need to see a doctor so it is a tough situation with her. I hope she is fine and it is just one of her attention situations. She has been locked up very long without her twice a week Casino trips and once a week Bingo days.
We also have that fire situation up north, for now they are telling everyone in the town where Our Little Red House is, to be ready, to start packing up in case the wind changes and the fire gets closer to them which is in their route.
Everything is too much right now. I wish we could start over and exchange this year of 2020…because it is broken. I have God and Jesus always with me by my side, and that brings me peace too, we are never alone and so far we are all okay, as well as our family and friends out there.
You and yours stay safe Linda and God bless you all.
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Oh, my… having an NPD, 85-year-old mother-in-law must be difficult. The drama, the demands for attention — you have my sympathy.
I’m praying that the wild fires don’t take out your darling little red house. Praying the town is spared, too. New Mexico gets a lot of wild fires. Very scary.
Thank you for your comment. Yes, 2020 is broken. But I just realized today that we are coming up on the summer solstice. By next week, the days are going to start getting shorter here. Can you believe it? This year is almost half over!
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I just keep on as usual here. I never did go out much except for church-related things. And we are hoping to be back in church this coming Sunday. We aren’t allowed to sing, though. But I can get around that because I can play ventriloquist and sing without moving my lips except for a tiny bit with one or two letters.
I have always been quite happy to stay home. And I’m not wearing a mask. A friend made one for me and I have taken it with me when I have been out, just in case they enforce it, but no one has done that. And we aren’t required to wear one in church if we can’t tolerate it. I have chronic sinus issues, and breathing is not always easy without my nose covered. So I have turned my mask into an eye mask and wear it at night to block the bit of light that comes in through my unlined drapes. I seem to be sleeping much better that way which is really great.
I order groceries online and have them delivered because I cannot be sure how long the lines might be to check out, and I cannot stand for long periods of time without ending up with a lot of pain, so that just saves me that hassle.
I have been busy making videos and putting them on my YouTube channel and they will eventually be used in my blog posts. I have done a couple of audios in posts already when I wasn’t quite presentable to be seen in a video. 🙂 All in all, I am enjoying this time. I have also been praying a lot more and reading the Bible more too. And that is something I want to take advantage of. I’m also connecting to more people by phone that normal and that’s good. I don’t have a cell phone, so my land line is always working.
I’m glad you are able to keep writing your memoir. I keep hoping to get back to some old manuscripts to bring them up to a final stage so I can publish them, but I haven’t got around to it so far except for reading them and doing some revision on one.
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Wow! It sounds like you are handling this crazy time, just right. Thank you for sharing. I find the details of your days both encouraging and inspiring.
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I’m glad you were encouraged by it Linda.
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You have been through so much! You are a strong warrior my friend! These are surely trying times!
Love the dog pic. Cute saying!
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Aww, thank you, Renee. ❤❤❤
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Linda, as I read through your post and the comments I kept thinking: we are in a world today that we certainly are not of. I think it’s perhaps harder for our time, because we are part of the time line spoken of by Daniel. We are in a world where even we are used to running to and fro, and a world where knowledge of what we often do not even want to know is increasingly overwhelming us. But along with that also goes the increased understanding of the word and of our times. God bless you and your family and our friends who visit here on your blog. Good post sister.
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I read your comment, approved and liked it, and before I could reply I got a phone call. Then the dogs needed out, then they wanted back in, because already it’s too hot for our spoiled fur babies. But all of that activity gave me time to think about what you said.
“…we are part of the time line spoken of by Daniel. We are in a world where even we are used to running to and fro, and a world where knowledge of what we often do not even want to know is increasingly overwhelming us.” Yes. Yes! That sums it up, right there.
One thing I am realizing: I need to read the Bible more, and the news less. Thank you for reading and commenting. God bless you, brother.
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Appreciate you Linda, stay safe.
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What a year it has been; praying so much for our nation at this time
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Amen!
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Amen
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I’m trusting God in all of this… Through trial, storm, and all other circumstances of life! Someday, the Lord will return, (whether by death or rapture) and we’ll forget about ALL of these trials! “What a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see….”
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I’m right there with you, Paul. Just reading your words makes me want to shout! I just want all of my loved ones to be ready. ❤❤❤
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WP won’t let me like this, but it will let me comment, which is kind of weird.
I’m so glad you’re still making progress with your memoir. I look forward to reading it, and I already have a list of people I want to give it to! ♥️
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Awwww, you just made my day! My week! My month! My entire 2020! ❤❤❤❤❤
Seriously, 2020 is much more bearable, thanks to your delightful blog. I was thinking last night, when I was looking at your latest posts, that your blog should be designated essential, like grocery stores and hospitals. I wanted to tell you so in the comments, but I was too sleepy at the time to spell. 😀
I don’t know why WP won’t let some people like my posts. My husband can’t, either. I need to contact customer service again.
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I am so glad your granddaughter and her husband have recovered. Praise God! Like you, Linda, I was an atheist for many years. I cannot imagine coping w/ the current crises if I did not have Christ. May He grant you the peace that passes understanding, as you rest in His care.
Your friend,
A. ❤
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Thank you, Anna. I feel so much love for you, since I read your memoir, that my heart overflows every time I see your name. I pray you are well. ❤❤❤
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Thank you, Linda. My family and I have been well. Whatever comes, we are in God’s hands. ❤ ❤ ❤
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Hi Linda. It is really been a lot that has been going on since the beginning of the year. But God has been protecting and keeping us safe even from the things that we do not know about while we are asleep. Continue to shelter in the secret place of God and be at peace.
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You are so right, Beverley. The peace that passes understanding is with us right now.
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Hi, my friend. Thank you for your comment.
I just posted about my brother being in the Khobar Towers bombing 24 years ago today. He is the brother I texted you about, who reached out to me a few months ago. So right now, my brain can’t even think about anything else. I know you will understand that. ((HUGS))
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Hi! i love this article & your blog!
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Thank you so much, Maddie. Your blog is wonderful. PTSD, it’s the gift that keeps on giving, right? But it really helps to know we aren’t alone. ❤
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Thank you! & yes, it’s always heartwarming to know you’re not the only one fighting a certain battle!
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Please feel encouraged to check out my recent blog post regarding PTSD awareness day (today, June 27th) or just the overall PTSD awareness month of June! Thank you❤️
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Your blog post for PTSD awareness day is amazing. With everything going on, I had totally lost track of the day.
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Thank you! & Dont worry! Most people don’t even know that June is PTSD awareness month! That’s why it’s crucial to share info through blogs and social media; so we can help to promote a better future with more support for people suffering from this illness!
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Hey Maddie — I just checked my WordPress spam folder, and I found several of your comments there. I have no idea why! I approved and liked all of your comments, so hopefully that won’t happen again.
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Haha that’s alright! Don’t know why that happened either!
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