Dying for Chocolate — My Valentine’s Day Not-So-Near Death Experience


Yesterday, on February 14, I woke up to a sweet surprise. Propped on the night table next to my side of the bed was an envelope containing a Valentine’s Day card. The front of the card says: ‘You Are My Favorite Thing in the Universe.’ The inside printed part reads: ‘How lucky the world is to have you in it! Happy Valentine’s Day.’

But the best part is what my husband of almost 16 years wrote on the card. ‘You are the most wonderful caring loving person I know.’ Awwwwww!!!! Love is blind, right! πŸ˜‰ I love my best friend husband so much.

My hubby and I did not meet until we were both in our fifties. We met at work, and quickly discovered that we had practically everything in common. Finding each other when we did was something of a miracle. However, because we had both been diagnosed with PTSD, we had a very rocky first couple of years. Between dealing with our multiple trauma triggers, on top of our respective histories of failed relationships — PTSD can be hard on relationships, for multiple reasons — it looked for awhile like we weren’t going to make it. But thanks to our shared faith in the Lord Jesus and to a lot of good, healing, Christ-centered therapy, today we are doing great.

I thank God for my husband. This is the happiest and healthiest that my life has ever been. We may be “over the hill,” age-wise. But instead of going downhill, I feel like this is just the beginning of the best part of life.

Yesterday, though, for several scary minutes, I thought I might not live to see another day!

You see, I am a chocolate addict, and my husband knows this. He knows to buy me chocolate for Valentine’s Day, but he also knows not to buy too much, like a huge heart-shaped box of chocolates, because I have a tendency to keep eating chocolates until I make myself sick. A small box of only about five or six pieces of candy works best for me.

Yesterday morning, after I found my lovely card, I looked around for a small box of chocolates, but there were no chocolates to be found. The only chocolate related thing I saw was the book that’s pictured at the top of this post: Dying for Chocolate by Diane Mott Davidson. This book was lying on our dining room table beside my husband’s placemat, where he had left it after he finished reading it the night before.

“Dying for Chocolate,” I said to myself. “How ironic that he would be reading a book by that title, when here it is Valentine’s Day and I was expecting chocolate, but there isn’t any. He must have hidden my chocolate somewhere.”

I am an early bird and my hubby is a night owl, one of the few things we don’t have in common. So I had to wait several hours until he finally woke up, to get my chocolate. He had hidden it behind his rye bread, another thing we don’t have in common. Behind his bread, tucked in the back of the breadbox, was a small bag of chocolate covered pecans, one of my favorites.

They may not come in a heart-shaped box, but I couldn’t have been happier as I tore open the familiar dark brown bag, grabbed a fist full of the rich chocolatey nuts, and started munching away.

I chewed, I swallowed, I grabbed another handful, chewed, swallowed, grabbed another handful . . . and that’s when I first noticed that, underneath the familiar, deliciously sweet chocolate taste, the pecans tasted different.

The bag was lying face down on the table. I picked it up, turned it over, and discovered that I wasn’t eating chocolate covered pecans — I was eating chocolate covered peanuts. And I am allergic to peanuts!!!!!

Well, obviously, I did not die yesterday. My husband gave me a Benadryl antihistamine. We had an epipen handy. And, we prayed! Me: God, please don’t let me die, my husband would be so mad at himself!Β  Husband: Please don’t let Linda die, I would never forgive myself!

Not only didn’t I die, I didn’t even have the slightest allergic reaction! The last time I ate something with peanuts in it, about 22 years ago, my lips and tongue swelled up and I had to go to the emergency room. But not this time!

So, how could such a mistake have been made? Was my loving husband trying to kill me? Lol, no. What happened was that he had bought two bags of what he thought were chocolate covered pecans. The bags were hanging together on a hook in the store. The bag in front, the one he saw, was, indeed, chocolate covered pecans. But the bag behind it was chocolate covered peanuts. The two bags are identical in color, size, and shape. Of course, the pictures and wording on the front of the bags are different. But neither one of us had bothered to look at the front of the second bag, until after I had scarfed down almost half of the contents. Duh! I don’t expect that we will ever make that mistake again.

But here’s the really amazing thing: I did not have a panic attack yesterday, not even after I realized that I had scarfed down half a bag of peanuts. I have had several life-threatening anaphylactic shock reactions to various allergens in the past, and I knew that I could very well have such a reaction to the peanuts I had just consumed. But — I did not panic, not even a little bit. Seventeen years ago, I was diagnosed with severe PTSD. I used to have panic attacks All The Time. But I did not panic yesterday, even though I had every reason to. And neither did my husband, despite his PTSD!

You know what this means? We were truly trusting God to do His will. We were trusting that His will is best. I knew in my heart that I was ready to go to heaven, if God wanted to take me right then and there. And I also knew God wasn’t going to let me die, if He didn’t want to take me just yet.

Not only that, but the Neurofeedback Treatments that I had in 2017, and the EMDR and EFT treatments my husband is currently undergoing, have made a huge difference in our PTSD symptoms. We had every reason to panic, but we didn’t panic! Praise the Lord!

Still… isn’t it ironic that my husband had just finished reading Dying for Chocolate! πŸ˜€

53 thoughts on “Dying for Chocolate — My Valentine’s Day Not-So-Near Death Experience

  1. Dr.JenineMarie February 15, 2020 / 6:36 pm

    Very sweet story! My husband and I met in our 50’s too and we both have forms of PTSD. Life is not always easy but we are doing ok. Glad you survived your peanut incident! God bless you both

    Liked by 2 people

        • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee February 15, 2020 / 7:48 pm

          Many years ago, I owned a domain called Mr and Mrs PTSD (dot) com. But I wasn’t healed enough at that time to keep it up. I don’t know who, if anyone, owns that domain now. I hope to write a book by that title, Lord willing, in the future.

          But first, I need to finish my Growing Up CrAzY memoir.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. @preacherbiker February 15, 2020 / 6:40 pm

    WOW I love you my SNUGEBWOOGEMS

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Valeria Ellis February 15, 2020 / 6:48 pm

    Glad you’re ok!! (My son has a peanut allergy too, it’s so scary!!) Since you’re ok, I think it’s hilarious that your husband had just finished reading Death By Chocolate! I’m so glad you didn’t die. Congrats on not having a panic attack! This was a really fun read, thank you. ☺️

    Liked by 4 people

  4. bornagain732 February 15, 2020 / 7:27 pm

    Amen! I ❀️ every bit of this post!!!!
    Praise the Lord β€οΈπŸ™πŸ»

    Liked by 1 person

      • bornagain732 February 15, 2020 / 7:32 pm

        Thank you!!! So thankful the Lord took care of that problem before it even started!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee February 15, 2020 / 7:40 pm

          I’m feeling really in awe right now.

          Earlier today, my husband went to the store and came back with a huge heart-shaped box of peanut-free chocolate, to make up for yesterday’s fiasco. I am trying not to eat the entire thing in one sitting…

          Liked by 2 people

          • bornagain732 February 15, 2020 / 7:48 pm

            AaaaW! Lol! I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT PROBLEM!!! I am that way with orange slices -you know those jellied candy ones 😞

            Liked by 2 people

  5. The Eclectic Contrarian February 15, 2020 / 8:11 pm

    Good grief lol…. well, glad you’re well!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mrsmariposa2014 February 15, 2020 / 8:50 pm

    Oh, wow! What an amazing happenstance! I love that God used this to show you your growth in Him! Also, love and empathize about you and your hubby. My hubby and I celebrate 8 years next month and both deal with PTSD from our respective past hurts. It was a struggle in the coming together process for us, too, but, wouldn’t trade him for anything. It’s really cool the way God knows how to bring the right people together. Blessings to you both and so glad you are okay!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. seekingdivineperspective February 15, 2020 / 9:06 pm

    Wow, praise God! You know me, I think everything is part of His plan, even our mistakes. Just think – if your husband hadn’t made that blunder, you wouldn’t have seen first hand how much you have both been healed!
    (I once prayed that I not have such thin skin, and I wouldn’t have known God was answering if I hadn’t received apologies from a couple of people for “insults” I hadn’t even noticed.)


    • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee February 15, 2020 / 11:09 pm

      Now that’s a prayer I need to pray, not to have such thin skin. I’m going to pray that right now. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Amy Blount February 15, 2020 / 11:00 pm

    God is an awesome God. I find it so wonderful when I see moments of healing like that. Where the old you would’ve have done this or that and now the new you has the steering wheel and is handing it over to the almighty. So cool. Especially because when you look back, the old you could’ve never imagined being in those shoes.

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Anna Waldherr February 16, 2020 / 11:32 am

    Linda, this whole post was a valentine! ❀ ❀ ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  10. simplywendi February 16, 2020 / 2:27 pm

    oh my goodness, I can’t imagine how scary that was but I am so thankful you are ok………and not having a panic attack, woohoo! that is life showing itself in the right direction. so happy for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. ibikenyc February 16, 2020 / 2:46 pm

    Except that I am SO GRATEFUL that you are okay (biggest WHEW ever!), I have nothing to add except that I had never heard of chocolate-covered walnuts OH. MY. GOODNESS!!!!!

    Something new to keep me awake nights; LOL! πŸ™‚

    Another vote here for the jellied citrus slices. Similarly-fond of (SWOON!) dark-chocolate dipped dried apricots πŸ˜€ and high-end malted-milk balls.

    (I follow a low-carb / keto diet, so my chocolate consumption these days is limited to the occasional protein shake, but I’m just like you and would keep eating it until it was all gone!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee February 16, 2020 / 3:22 pm

      My stepdaughter came by today and brought more chocolate. Sigh. I mean, yum. πŸ˜€

      Believe it or not, Dollar General sells the chocolate covered walnuts, for only $1. They also have chocolate covered almonds, another favorite of mine, and also the peanuts.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee February 18, 2020 / 6:35 pm

        Eeek, correction: the candy that Dollar General sells, under the brand ‘Sweet Smiles,’ is a chocolate covered pecan, called Pecan Caramel Clusters. It does not contain walnuts. They also sell chocolate covered almonds, made by the same company and sold in the same size bag, also for $1. The almonds are my favorite, so we usually buy those. We only buy the pecan candy when the store is out of the almond candy.

        I don’t know why I was thinking that our second choice in the Sweet Smiles candy was a walnut confection. Duh again! I wanted to let you know, in case you go looking for the chocolate covered walnuts. Sorry!

        Liked by 1 person

        • ibikenyc February 22, 2020 / 2:06 pm

          Thanks for the correction, but no worries πŸ™‚ Not sure if we even still have Dollar General around here. However, I can see myself being all frustrated and sad because I couldn’t ever find chocolate-covered walnuts. Could always make brownies. . .

          I love almonds, too, with or without chocolate. I love all nuts, as a matter of fact.

          Something I used to buy for myself was “Bridge Mix.” Pretty sure that usually has peanuts, too, though. Wonder if they still make it?

          Pecans. . . wowee. I used to make a decent pecan pie.

          Now, if I ever see chocolate-covered cashews, all bets are off! πŸ˜€

          Liked by 1 person

  12. hatrack4 February 16, 2020 / 4:34 pm

    I read this Diane Mott Davidson in 2013. I like her books. My wife has asked me to try grapes, thinking I may no longer be allergic to them. I refrain, but I have never had a life-threatening reaction. Sinus flair up, throwing up, and swollen face to the point of closed eyes. I am so thank ful that you did not have a reaction.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee February 16, 2020 / 4:53 pm

      I’m reading the book now. It’s very suspenseful.

      Yeah, sinus flare up, throwing up, and a swollen face — I like grapes, but not enough to risk having all of that. I don’t intend to eat peanuts again either, I don’t believe in pushing my luck.

      There is a young boy with cerebral palsy who sings with our praise and worship team at church. He can barely speak, walks with extreme difficulty, and yet he stands up there for half an hour every Sunday morning, singing praises to the Lord. I have unofficially adopted him as my grandson. I asked Kenny what his favorite candy is, and he said he likes Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. So I have started buying Reeses to give him at the end of the service.

      I was looking at the Reeses today and thinking “Hmmm, maybe I could eat one of these?” And immediately I knew how stupid that thought was.

      Besides, I got them for Kenny. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • hatrack4 February 16, 2020 / 5:53 pm

        Yes, leave them for Kenny. My scoutmaster had CP. The man could barely walk. He had slurred speech, but then could sing like an angel with nothing slurred. But in spite of his handicap, he was the scoutmaster of that troop, daring the boys to keep up with him for 30 years or so. You have given me a treat, knowing that Kenny is following him, in a way.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Lady Quixote/Linda Lee February 16, 2020 / 9:49 pm

          Awww! Your story about your scoutmaster brought tears to my eyes. I’m so glad I told you about Kenny. As I was writing that comment, I almost deleted the entire bit about Kenny and the Reeses, because I didn’t want it to look like I was boasting about my small act of kindness. You know, we’re not supposed to let our left hand know what our right hand is doing, when it comes to things like that. But when I started to delete the part about Kenny, I felt like I was supposed to leave it for some reason. And now I know why. Wow!!!

          Liked by 1 person

  13. oneta hayes February 22, 2020 / 10:49 am

    Sounds like you are lining up your battles and winning them! Congrats to you and your husband. Maybe if you had another peanut test you will find you are no longer allergic to peanuts. Your body has changed a lot in 17 years. You’re still a beauty.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Wordscroll November 11, 2020 / 6:26 am

    I once took an ambulance due to valentine chocolate. I was sure I was having a heart attack, but no. They asked me if I had been eating a lot of chocolate. Um, well πŸ₯΄
    My husband celebrated valentines day that year (our first) by giving me chocolate surprises every day for a month!
    Who knew you can be loved to death ❀πŸ₯°

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.