Cynthia Bailey-Rug never ceases to amaze me. Her insights into narcissism, and her thoughts on living with the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, are incredible.
This past week has been extremely difficult for me. In addition to the horror of gun violence in our country, I have experienced a tremendous amount of pain in my personal life. I’m not talking about my marriage, thankfully. But a situation happened last Monday that hurt me so deeply, I am still reeling from the aftermath. Even more hurtful, perhaps, is my shock over how much this thing has affected me. The events of last Monday triggered some of my long-ago trauma issues. Not only has this caused me an inordinate amount of emotional suffering, it has also upset me very much to realize that my PTSD apparently isn’t as healed as I had thought.
While it’s still true that my PTSD symptoms are tremendously better than when I was at my worst, these past six days have really knocked me for a loop. A lot of my pain throughout this ordeal has been caused by me beating myself up for being in pain!
I have been trying, without much success, to push away my ruminating thoughts and emotions concerning this sad situation. But I love what Cynthia says in her post about allowing herself to think her thoughts and feel her feelings, in a prayerful, healing way. I’m going to try that.
Thank you for stopping by and God bless! ~ Linda Lee @LadyQuixote
PS: I originally said I would allow comments here, but then I realized that I am not feeling up to the challenge right now. Sorry.
Ruminating thoughts are very common after someone has experienced trauma, in particular in cases of PTSD & C-PTSD. They are when a person can’t stop thinking about their awful experiences.
Like many people, I experienced them once C-PTSD developed, but I still had a slight degree of control over them. Sometimes, I could force them to stop & think of something else. After surviving carbon monoxide poisoning though, my brain was damaged. Part of that damage was no longer having the ability to control those ruminating thoughts. I had to learn new & effective ways to cope with them.
After my mother’s sudden death in April, my ruminating thoughts got really, really bad! At first it was incredibly hard to handle them on top of everything else about the situation. With God’s help, after a few months of this, I’ve gotten a much better grip on the awful ruminating thoughts.
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