Improv* #6: A Meetup Group with Social Anxiety Tries to Walk into a Bar… (Comments Allowed)

I am reblogging this post because oh my gosh, Lavender sounds exactly like me. Except that I am about twice her age. However, I still feel like I’m only around 23 years old because, like Lavender says… C-PTSD.

I didn’t know that I also have ADD or ADHD until recently. I thought my “weirdness” was all about my Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. But looking back over my life, I really should have been diagnosed ADHD when I was in the first grade. I was so excited to be in school, so thrilled to have other children to talk to, that I could not stop talking. At All.

I wanted to be good. I really, really did. But it was simply impossible for me to shut my mouth. The teacher moved my desk all over the room, including up at the front by her desk, in an effort to find a spot where I would not talk. But even when I was sitting by her desk, I turned around and stage-whispered to the kids in the front row. At that point, the poor teacher lost her mind entirely and moved me, desk and all, out into the hallway, shutting the door behind me. I was mortified!! But I really could not help it.

I am sure if that were today, I would have an ADHD label slapped on me before the end of my first week in school. But things were different in 1959.

I have learned some self-control and restraint over the years. But even when I am acting like a “normal person” on the outside, on the inside I feel very socially awkward, more often than not.

Like Lavender, the author of the post that I have reblogged below, I can, and I have, stood on a stage and spoken to large groups of people — around 10,000 was probably my biggest audience — without a qualm. But talking to people one on one — Yikes!

I have also acted in plays. As Lavender explains so well, it does not matter what the audience thinks of her character, because that person isn’t “her”. I once had the lead in a long, dramatic play where I had to totally melt down and have a mental breakdown on stage. It was awesome, because it wasn’t “me!”

I wish I could meet Lavender in person but alas, she lives on the east side of the country and I am in the western high desert. Please read her very funny and informative post, especially if you have any interest in social anxiety, ADD/ADHD, or PTSD.

Lavender explains what it’s like to be me, better than I can. 😁

PS: I rarely open comments on a post that is a reblog. However, because I have shared so much of myself here, I am going to allow comments. Feel free to share your thoughts. I hope you will comment on Lavender’s blog, as well. Thanks!

13 thoughts on “Improv* #6: A Meetup Group with Social Anxiety Tries to Walk into a Bar… (Comments Allowed)

  1. lavenderandlevity March 31, 2018 / 12:23 pm

    Argh. First posted this on MY blog, but now hopefully I have figured this out:

    “Aww – thanks for your kind words! 10,000…wow! I haven’t quite gotten that big an audience (yet?!). That’s awesome!”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda Lee/@LadyQuixote March 31, 2018 / 12:27 pm

      Oh good grief… I just accidentally marked your comment as spam!! Thank goodness I found a redo button. Now, if I could just redo my life… Never mind, I would probably make all the same mistakes.

      Your post is really good. Thanks for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

      • lavenderandlevity March 31, 2018 / 12:28 pm

        So, we’re even on the whole “not knowing how wordpress actually works at all.” 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Linda Lee/@LadyQuixote March 31, 2018 / 5:46 pm

          Yes! I really felt lost, a few years ago, when WP completely changed their editor page, or whatever you call it. I’m still not used to their “new improved & easier version.” When my outlook email account gets changed all around, which they seem to do every few months, I’m like “WHY?? My brain is full, I can’t learn a whole new thing.” Yeah, welcome to the club!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Tricia March 31, 2018 / 12:59 pm

    That’s a good post!. I tried to join a support group of social phobia patients but alas I was the only one to sign up, so no group ever formed!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Anna Waldherr April 1, 2018 / 11:45 am

    Hard to know whether to laugh or cry. Either way, wishing you a beautiful Easter! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. breakthesilenceonabuse April 6, 2018 / 2:54 pm

    I’m not computer savvy but I’ve had my WordPress for over a year and I promise that I would tell my truth of the abuse that I endured throughout my life so hoping that last night when I did my first blog on my childhood I hope it was okay and I see your blog is just amazing so I just wanted to apply to you on that and since you’re really good at maybe you can check out mine and see what I need to do to kind of fix it I would really appreciate that

    Liked by 1 person

  5. breakthesilenceonabuse April 7, 2018 / 10:37 pm

    I feel so blessed to be able to connect with other individuals with complex trauma and being a survivor of that I’m 42 years old and I just recently faced my childhood abuse which was the beginning of the cycle of abuse that I endured I only want to be able to reach the community about certain subjects that need to be addressed for our future Generations breakthesilenceonabuse

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda Lee/@LadyQuixote April 8, 2018 / 3:56 am

      You are an amazing survivor! I did not fully face my abuse history until I was in my 50s. Finding other survivors through blogging has been a huge help to me. I’m so glad you are here.

      Liked by 1 person

      • breakthesilenceonabuse April 12, 2018 / 3:47 pm

        I want to thank you for the compliment as well as saying I’m still learning about boundaries. But I am blessed and I am thankful that I see the way the way the world should be instead of the way it is. I do believe once I finish telling my story that I will be able to go on and do some type of good in this world and that is my hopes and that is my dreams. I have a lot of health problems but I realize you must think of the positive things in life and focus on that because what you say out loud or thinking is what comes to your way. I’m just beginning this journey and I am so thankful that I’ve reached out to other survivors because I don’t feel so alone anymore. Hope to hear from you soon. XOXO

        Liked by 1 person

        • Linda Lee/@LadyQuixote April 14, 2018 / 11:00 am

          XOXO back at you! Thank you! I want to say more, but my husband and I are in the process of moving into a newer home. We have so much unpacking left to do, and my brain isn’t working too good right now!

          Liked by 1 person

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